The 13 People you meet in the Community Musical's Pit Orchestra:

This is a response to a Facebook post I saw about this blog:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/chelsea-fagan/2014/03/the-13-people-you-meet-at-community-theatre/

As you may know, I work every year in the pit orchestra at my local community theater (notice where I put the 'r' there; that's the way it's spelled!).  Enjoy.

1. Director (who isn't in charge of music): She would like to have a say in the 90 cuts that litter the rehearsal room floor, but the "Music" Director just doesn't need another dance number to prepare for.

2. Pianist: She's the one who goes to every audition, rehearsal, and staging. She also has played more notes by the end of the show than many of the actors will ever sing.

3. Veteran: This person has played in every single production since the theater group started. His/Her notes are likely still etched on the music from the first run of Oliver.

4. New Family: This is the young couple with possibly one on the way that swear up and down both of them will still participate when the baby comes... We'll see...

5. Bass Player: He's a high schooler who's mother knows the director and the director was desperate. He can read music, but would rather someone just yell out what key they're in.

6. The Handle Bar: He is either a trombone player or a tuba player. Somehow, out of every bit of improbability, he looks good. Like the star of a cigarette commercial from the '80s good.

7. Mr./Mrs. Infinite Wisdom: Sometimes this is the same as the Handle Bar. No matter what is happening in the music or in politics of the musical, they have an overly wise and insightful comment that makes everyone stop and think...awkwardly.

8. The I-Play-Everything: This person usually is a woodwind player. They play flute, clarinet, some clarinet no one has heard of, and anything else they can lug into the pit.  It isn't uncommon for them to play one instrument while another lies in their lap.

9. The Guitar Player: They never played a anything more than chords before this show.  Now, taped to every other page is hand written guitar tab.  They also forget to look at the conductor for the majority of the show.

10. The Percussionist: This is not the trap set player. They bring as a minimum three large timpani, at least one xylophone, and four bags stuffed full of noisemakers, some of which were found at a kitchen store.

11. The Setup/Teardown Person: This person, regardless of any personal life, comes two hours early, setups up everyone's chair and stand (somehow correctly), lays out the cables for mic'ing and stand lights, and then after the show stays two more hours to make sure everything is put back correctly. We love this person. We pick up their check at the after party.

12. The High Schooler: She (and it always is a she) is the flute player (and it always is a flute player) who came because she wanted the extra line on her college application. Now, she might be looking at how much her flute will go for on craigslist.

13. The Reader: Their part has 57 measures of rest in each of the 38 songs in the book.  They brought along in their gig bag a mystery trilogy.  By the last night of shows, they are about to finish their stories... again.